The four elements
Fuck me, I AM an opportunistic hermit
If there’s one thing I’ve learned during this quarantine it’s that, wow, I have so many limiting beliefs about myself. I thought I couldn’t make a mixtape, write blogs regularly, drink less, stop smoking, draw… and yet here we are!
Megan 2.0 has arrived, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m amazed, proud and highly confused. I keep excusing myself for being this productive, telling my friends “it’s probably just a phase and I’ll go back to my slacker, wine-drinking self once this is over.”
I say that because I like social, outgoing me. I’m the girl that can be found dancing in front of the DJ booth on a Tuesday at 3 AM, having wine in one hand and a pack of ciggies in the other. Wildly unhealthy but having oh so much fun.
Quarantine me is curled up on the couch with a blanket, drawing and secretly wanting to be left alone all day. I drew two personalized Mother’s Day cards for my new-mom-girlfriends and wrote this blog, all in one Sunday afternoon. Like, who am I?!
And then it hit me. Maybe this is actually me. The authentic, peeled-off-all-societal-pressure me.
I remembered my Human Design chart. Though most things resonated, my 2/4 profile felt, unlike me.
I’m a Hermit/Opportunist (like Oprah and Whoopi).
All Hermits are “naturals” with an innate talent that prefer to stay in their protected environment, absorbed in what it loves to do most, hidden from the eyes of others — from this blog.
The hermit has a need to be alone or have seclusion, to allow integration of ideas and experiences to take place. The 2nd line needs to be out of the energy of others for this important integration to take place. However, the 2nd line is not a successful hermit because others recognize that the 2nd line person can’t live in a cave. Thus the 2nd lines are extended invitations and called out of their hermit environment — from here.
So deep down I’m someone that stays home all day until my friends drag me out?
Hell naaaaaah. I am the person dragging others out.
But here we are — still on the couch, secretly loving this solitude and admittedly, not so sure if I’ll return to my YOLO ways once we’re allowed to resume B.C. life again.
What if I start saying no to outings and plan book club nights with myself?
Wait, no, that sounds boring. Help, so conflicted.
Overnight heatless curls
Oh em gee, I woke up with a head full of curls! I am THRILLED!
My Instagram friends were impressed, my mom proudly looked at me all day with a look that said: “wow, I actually did create a beautiful daughter” and my man wrote me with a whole new level of excitement.
4.15 PM *You missed a call*
Damn Megan <3
Damn Damn DAMN!!!!
Got me all stressed out this morning
You know my heart is fragile lol
Needless to say, I paraded around the house all day with the self-confidence of 2015 Johanna, the tiny dancer that channeled her inner Aretha Franklin that one tap recital (Universe, hello, grant me one of those please. In five years, that’ll do. Thank you).
Now let me tell you, my hair is a disaster. It’s thin, it sheds, it’s been in between a straightener a little too often and volume… let’s just not even go there.
So when I looked up “heatless overnight curls” on YouTube, I did not think this would be working for me. But boy, did I have curls when I woke up the next day.
What you will need
- Mousse (and any of your favs like leave-in conditioner, oils or anti-frizz)
- 4-20 hair elastics
- Your quarantine buddy (optional but easier)
- 30 minutes of free time
How the magic happens
- Wash/wet your hair, add mousse and any other staple
- Count your elastics. You can get great curls with 4 buns but I like to do around 10 knots with smaller ones at the front
- Have your buddy twist your hair into high knots (so you can still comfortably sleep), tuck in the ends and tie tightly
- Cover your hair with a silk scarf or stocking (or not)
And for the final step: Get your zzz’s and be ready to wake up to a new you.
Fast-forward 6 hours of sleep and 2 hours of snoozing…
Open your eyes, take out all elastics, untwist, separate hairs, style, backcomb, spray with an insane amount of hairspray and enjoy life as a badass boss.
Your new curly hairdo will last for about 3 days if you’re not a wild sleeper. You can retwist them as you sleep, that helps.
On day 4 the whole thing started to look like a bird’s nest, but, my hair wasn’t greasy (for a change).
So while you’re rocking a big head of hair, you can also practice your no-poo quarantine schedule. It’s nothing but wins with these curls!
Buzz buzz, more tests incoming
Last week, I wrote about my ex-lover that took a whole damn plane to a different continent to avoid me. Half a year later, he changed his mind. Until he reverted again. It was quick, I know.
As expected, there was no comeback to my message. I wanted it that way, that’s why I didn’t open up any space to discuss.
Though him giving up so easily clearly showed that his “ah-po-lo-gy” (please imagine finger quotes and eye-rolls here) came from a place of him feeling coronely (corona + lonely, get it *wink wink*), not him actually wanting to rekindle.
The moment I sent a reply that was more challenging than he had hoped for, he was like: OK never mind, bye.
Can we just pause and do a collective, deep *some men wtf* sigh.
Inhale, hold it. Good. Now let’s breathe out together.
I’m proud of myself for clearly seeing his inauthenticity through my superglued rose-colored glasses with which I permanently view the world.
A few days later I got a rather unexpected DM from ghost #5.
Our conversation went like this:
“Really, like how?”
“How I fucked up, mostly haha”
“What would you have done differently?”
Now see, I’m curious. I want to hear why you think you fucked up, or what you would have changed.
You’ve done months worth of thinking, yet you can’t even give me one detail?
Dude, no. That shit bothered me.
Not because of him per se, but because I got frustrated with myself for all the times I was lured back in after being served a platter of shallow bullshit.
How often my way-too-excited hormones went Speedy Gonzales in his direction when the guy said things like: “I’ve been thinking about you” *heart-eye emoji* press send (Circle fans, anyone? I do this in my head way too often #teamsammie)
UGH. Why was I so easy to fool? Why did it take me all of my twenties to realize these guys should have been a no-go from the start, way before feelings happened.
Here’s what I’d advise my mini-me:
Now, really read and listen to what he says. Dig deeper, ask follow-up questions, observe his behavior during the next weeks and find out his true intentions.
Is he genuine? Do his actions match his words? If not, carry on baby girl, he’s not worth your time. Keep that space free for a real man manifestation to come through.
The game of real life
I’ve recently upped my donations, making my Facebook sponsored post feed go from forgotten ASOS finds to Kickstarter projects I might be interested in funding.
One of them was: The Game of Real Life.
This card game, created by doctoral student and illustrator-by-night Jesse, is aimed to “help us live in the moment, cope healthily with stress, regulate our emotions, and improve our relationships.”
So how does that work, exactly?
When we deal with painful emotions or conflicts, we can use 4 skill sets to make things better:
- Mindfulness to redirect focus to the present moment
- Distress tolerance to avoid feeling overwhelmed with our current mood
- Emotion regulation to acknowledge and change these difficult emotions
- Interpersonal effectiveness to create better relationships by communicating our needs and boundaries
In the game, you get presented with a new conflict each round. Real-life, relatable wtf things like:
And things that will hopefully never happen, for most of us (it was only $250, I swear):
With your skill set cards in your hand, you then pick the most suitable skill and convince the Wise Mind (the judge of that round) in 30 seconds to pick your solution.
The winner is either the one that charmingly persuades the judge most rounds or collects enough points to fulfill their life goal card, my favorite one being: “America’s next drag superhero, saving the world from the ignorant and the tacky.”
Many know I love my question cards. This game is another fun way of sparking conversations that wouldn’t normally happen when hanging out with friends. You’ll also learn how to use the skill strategies when actual real-life problems appear.
Also, I kind of want all the custom art that goes along with the game. So nicely designed!